When we are between two chapters of our lives and no stability is given, our emotional and mental state can get into serious trouble. You just turned the last page of your school or university chapter and are anxious to see what happens next. It get’s even more difficult, when we are not sure of our next steps and simply wander off aimlessly. For our family, partner and friends transitional phases can turn into a tough time to be around us, since uncertainty and instability can bring out the worst in us. Fears of failure, insecurities what to do, loads of self doubt the question what the best decisions are in order to build a happy life. Mince I just went through a painful transitional phase (and feel awesome now), I wanted to give you some tips how to get structure and clarity back into your life (without break ups, tearful nights and nasty fights.)
1) Don’t let self doubt consume you
So, for a month or two I would wake up in the middle of the night, sweaty and my heart racing because I was so damn scared of my future. I would wake up in a terrible mood, bitch to my family, bitch to my boyfriend and be grumpy all day. And that would go on for way too long. I was so afraid to make plans (and fail) that I didnt take action at all, talked down to me all day, felt like a failure in life (soooo dramatic, I know). Instead of spiraling further down, you need to take action, start making plans and do something small that takes you towards your goal daily.
2) Brainstorm and do your research
What makes you you? Guys, don’t expect wonders sitting down in a two hour session to find out what your life should be about – it’s a process. But it all starts with committing your focus to finding it out. I started by putting my passions down on paper and circled the strongest ones. Then putting job and project ideas or possible college degrees next to it that relate to my the passion. Next I checked Indeed, what jobs are available similar to this etc. It will give your self confidence a boost to know, what your thing is – and then build it.
Do your research. Nothing will come of nothing. If you don’t know, then you don’t know. You wouldn’t believe all the inspiration I got on what to do, by simply researching on the internet for 30 minutes a day.
3) Structure your next 6 months
The scariest part when leaving safe grounds like school, your job or university, is that you don’t know what happens next. Uncertainty can feel unbearable, so in order to get better, you need to create security and kill your this uncertainty with a planning ahead. It’s the only way to feel better immediately – and I promise you, immediately.
- Structure the next 6 months. What is your plan? What do you want to achieve? (eg. Find a new job, get into college, travelling south america..)
- What do you need to do in order to achieve these goals? Break it into little doable steps. (eg your new job. Make a list where you want to apply, add the emails, add the deadlines, add which paperwork they need of you)
4) Take action to beat anxiety
Oh wouldn’t it be fantastic if we simply did, what we always put off doing? Do you know the 5-second-rule by xx. It’s crazy effective! If there is something you are struggling to start doing, count to five AND JUST START DOING IT. No doubts can form within this 5 seconds, because your inner voice is busy counting – HA!
But seriously, I’m so proud of you if you have committed your time to write find out what you are seriously passionate about, formed achievable goals and wrote down the steps necessary to get there. And now – get moving! That’s the final stage to get over your anxieties. You got to prove to yourself, that you are actually going there and not just talking about it. Write that email, contact that person, send the application, book that flight. You can do it, make yourself proud today and go get it!
You will feel better soon, I promise!
So these are the steps I took (over the course of 2 months) that brought me back to my balanced and confident self. I even sought therapy before this, because I didn’t understand that the only thing that rendered me into a crying and restless mess was me not facing up to my plans for my future.
There is no magic cure. I continue to feel insecure sometimes, but the trick is to keep going. Of course it is scary to make plans for your future and fail in the end. But it is even worse not having tried at all. So what is there you lose? Go get it!!!
Once I sorted all of that out taking the steps above, I feel there is a clear path to follow and clear action to take. Life got exciting again, and so will be yours!