What could be the secret components that make up happiness? In the last months, noticing and feeling severe unhappiness and being at a loss why, I set myself apart with the components of happiness and contentedness. What are the ingredients of happiness? I wondered what it needs in order to live a happier and more balanced life. Now, these are my personal components that make up my personal happiness, but maybe it inspired you to find yours. Happiness is of course above all a state of mind and relies mostly of our interpretation of events. But though it is a state you actively choose, it can be influenced by certain factors I will list below. So this is my recipe to happiness:
1) Acceptance of self
2) Stay with yourself
3) Pursue meaningful goals and do meaningful work
4) Make any sort of progress
5) Use your talents and keep a passion project
6) Build strong relationships
7) Being loved and give love
8) Help others
9) Be grateful
1) Stay with yourself
Imagine there is no social media. You get up in the morning and are confronted with your own life, your tasks for the day and your goals for the upcoming time. There is no checking facebook and feeling bad about yourself for all the things you are not doing, there is just you and your life alone. And isn’t it feeling great? You and your life are enough. Notice this feeling and remember it, even though Facebook and Instagram sneak into your daily life all the time. Social comparison motivates you to try new things and push a little further, but mostly be aware of its negative side effects. Stay with yourself, keep your eyes on your path and keep following your goals!
2) Acceptance of self
Self love is self acceptance. Having pointed out the difficulty of staying with yourself in the times of comparison fostering platforms such as facebook and instagram, the most important virtue to practice is to accept yourself with all your achievements and all your flaws.
One evening (at my worst) my boyfriend pointed out how I constantly talk negatively about all I am – how stupid, how unfit, how unsuccessful… (yeah, in comparison to Elon Musk, any VS-Angel and Beyoncé). Ever since I realized this unforgiving way I am with myself, I noticed that it would be impossible to be happier in the future, as long as I don’t love myself for me and appreciate all I am. Stop hating the body and mind you were born with, but turn it into the best and most powerful YOU!
3) Pursue meaningful goals and do meaningful work
In order to be happy we need a task in our life, that makes us happy. In order to find a balance and contentedness, you might notice that not every type of work, that will keep you occupied and pay the bills, will make you happy. You don’t have to want to be part of something bigger, or change the world but mostly we thrive off of doing work that has a positive impact in any way. So if you feel unhappy with your job, maybe it is because it’s lacking a more meaningful purpose?
4) Make any sort of progress
Let’s be honest: Feeling stuck makes us feel unaccomplished. It is a challenge, but to further evolve and flourish in life and to further shape and develop our interests, personality and career is part of what makes us happy and content. We love positive and beneficial change that helps us grow. May that be a new language that you want to learn, moving somewhere new, a new hobby to take up, ticking off some goals of yours, gathering work-experience or changing your job – growth makes us happy and keeps us curious.
5) Use your talents and keep a passion project
Do you have a talent? To put any of your talents in action will work wonders for your feelings of self worth and confidence. So if you know of something that you are doing great in, find a way to incorporate it in your weekly life. Repetition helps you internalizing your talent, making space for you to let go of self doubt and prove to yourself: this is what I can do and I am good at it. To see yourself succeeding in something you are good at, will give your self confidence an enormous boost!
6) Build strong relationships
What also contributes to feeling happy is feeling safe. That is why having a few strong relationships in your life to fall back on when you are feeling weak is an important part of your happiness. When I was younger I naively used to think of success and wealth, when I thought of me being happy, but it truly comes down to the bare essentials – the people you can rely on and feel save with.
7) Being loved and give love
When are loved, we feel accepted and valued. When we love, we are giving this gift to others, which makes us feel good and useful. It is not only part of our human needs to feel loved, but it’s also a power we have to make others happy by showing them our appreciation and thus create harmony. Giving and feeling love creates a deep happiness within, that nothing can compare too. It doesn’t matter if it is returned or not, it will all reflect back on your own inner peace, believe me.
8) Help others
This is a big factor many of us might not implement enough in our busy lives. Being so caught up in thinking about our mental and physical wellbeing, we lose sight of the fact that helping others and caring for others is a big part of what makes us human and at peace with ourselves. Shift the focus from you onto your friends, partner and family sometimes and ask yourself: What could make them happy? With what could I help them with? Helping others will also reflect back onto your own inner peace.
9) Be grateful
Now this is a big one. In a society of constant comparison and the pressure of self improvement, we forget to cherish what we already have. What living situation we are blessed with, having a home, food and a job. Having caring parents or friends, financial security and a dream that is achievable. A large part of the world has maybe one of all of these things, while I am sure you can add many many more to those I wrote down, if you think about it. Stop becoming and start being. Being happy with the person you already are and all you have. It will uncomplicate your life and bring a whole new untouchable layer of contentedness.
How this has helped me
So, whenever I feel unhappy or unbalanced, I check back on my little recipe of happiness and go through all of these points. Mostly, when I am having a bad day, I find one of the components lacking and to be the source of my unhappiness. And this is also how I know what to work on again. I deeply hope you can take away your own recipe of happiness from here. Kisses x
